Well about 12 years and 12 and half hour ago, the woman who raised me died. I am not to found of mothers day for obvious reasons.
You never stop grieving you just do it one day a year after some time has passed. It hurts as bad today as it did then. This is my one day. I had to many ppl to take care of and be there for including the man who raised me. Who was 85 that year.
She was only 70 years old that year. She was my biological grandmother and my adoptive mother. i always called her mom unless i was mad then i would call her Doris just to tick her off (kids are such a grateful lot). Though to some 70 maybe old it is still young to drop dead.
She was my whole world I was 27 the day she died and I had never left home never held an outside job for longer then three months and I truly had no clue what to do after she was gone. I had never been taught how to live on my own. After she passed no one ever came back to visit. 45 mins after the funeral home took her away everyone was gone and if we have seen 1% of them in the last 12 years i would be surprised.
I remember overhearing her tell her friends no matter what happens if i go you take care of Stanley and Amy. yeah the took care all right one of these so call friends of her actually raided our photo album and took over half the pictures we had of her. and one bright bulb tried to take a picture of her dead. that almost caused me to reposition his camera in such a way he would have needed a colonoscopy to find where it finally had ended up.
So like all the times before I made sure that the Doris' ashes got taken care of, that Stanley was watched over and kept safe etc. Two years after this Stanley died. Jan 3 2000. He was 87, his skin almost transparent, but he had made peace with his life and He and I had found peace with each other. the day Stanley died i was proud to call him my Dad.
Doris was such an integral part of my life that we were like two in one. That was how she raised me. totally dependent on her for everything and when she died i died with her. I curled up into a ball and only did the house cleaning and cooking nothing more but the basics. I lost it for a long time even after I came out of my daze. The bed she died on was still in the house and late at night i would sometimes get hungry once in awhile and while i was making supper i would talk to her like she was still there on that bed like we use to.
i get along great with and love my birth mother dearly but its different.
looking back at my life the things i went threw and dealt with I am honestly surprised that I even came out of all that with any kind of intelligence left at all. Anyway just needed to get that out. When mothers day lands on the 10th i get a bit more twisted then i normal do about mothers day.
You never stop grieving you just do it one day a year after some time has passed. It hurts as bad today as it did then. This is my one day. I had to many ppl to take care of and be there for including the man who raised me. Who was 85 that year.
She was only 70 years old that year. She was my biological grandmother and my adoptive mother. i always called her mom unless i was mad then i would call her Doris just to tick her off (kids are such a grateful lot). Though to some 70 maybe old it is still young to drop dead.
She was my whole world I was 27 the day she died and I had never left home never held an outside job for longer then three months and I truly had no clue what to do after she was gone. I had never been taught how to live on my own. After she passed no one ever came back to visit. 45 mins after the funeral home took her away everyone was gone and if we have seen 1% of them in the last 12 years i would be surprised.
I remember overhearing her tell her friends no matter what happens if i go you take care of Stanley and Amy. yeah the took care all right one of these so call friends of her actually raided our photo album and took over half the pictures we had of her. and one bright bulb tried to take a picture of her dead. that almost caused me to reposition his camera in such a way he would have needed a colonoscopy to find where it finally had ended up.
So like all the times before I made sure that the Doris' ashes got taken care of, that Stanley was watched over and kept safe etc. Two years after this Stanley died. Jan 3 2000. He was 87, his skin almost transparent, but he had made peace with his life and He and I had found peace with each other. the day Stanley died i was proud to call him my Dad.
Doris was such an integral part of my life that we were like two in one. That was how she raised me. totally dependent on her for everything and when she died i died with her. I curled up into a ball and only did the house cleaning and cooking nothing more but the basics. I lost it for a long time even after I came out of my daze. The bed she died on was still in the house and late at night i would sometimes get hungry once in awhile and while i was making supper i would talk to her like she was still there on that bed like we use to.
i get along great with and love my birth mother dearly but its different.
looking back at my life the things i went threw and dealt with I am honestly surprised that I even came out of all that with any kind of intelligence left at all. Anyway just needed to get that out. When mothers day lands on the 10th i get a bit more twisted then i normal do about mothers day.
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