My life story..Part 2

Other things I remember from age 9. Our house burnt. I started the fire. GF's son murdered somebody and went to jail.. I remember him coming home covered in blood and the bag of bloody clothes he carried with him.. that was the day he punched and knocked out GM. i cried so hard. for the next 10 years or so GM and GF went to the prison every month. I stopped going about the age of 13 because all the guys there were staring at me. there is even a picture of me in my bassinet sitting on a picnic table in one of the old prisons outdoor area.

1979 was not a good year. the more I get my meds straight the more I am remembering...the more I wish I didn't. and really no one to share them with. who's gonna really understand.

I also got my first hickey that year from a family member a little younger then me on my right breast. she said she saw her parents doing it. Between  DEC 10th-Jan 10th 1980 I started and stopped my period 6 times. went to the obgyn. got a full sized cold metal speculum jammed up inside me. well so much for virginity. I remember the pain. I remember promising to be a good girl..to please just let me up and let me go home.

1980 i was 10 now. I was 5'3 i weighed in about 100lbs and had 36C's for breasts. I looked as much as an adult as the rest of my family. I remember all the old men stopping their vehicles and trying to get me to get in. but I wasn't that stupid. thankfully. I got into rock and roll when i turned 10 lol. way less depressing then country.

I was in the 4th grade I think then. yeah 4th grade. that's the year I got belted across the face with a braided rope by one of the kids at school. that's the year I got beat all the time by the other kids. that was when I realized that the other kids didn't get called names at home and didn't get beaten and didn't get touched. we learned good touch and bad touch that year...but way to late for me.

when I told GM about the touching I was called a lire. told I was trying to make trouble. go play. .....that's enough for this post... I cant and don't want to remember anymore...not right now.......