Bubble Bubble Boil and Trouble

Have you ever had your head feel so full that it gave you the feeling of watching a bubbling pot on the stove??? Have you ever felt like you need to drill a hole in your head to release the pressure? Have you ever wanted to bang your head against the wall to make that feeling stop?

Have I given a good enough description? Can you imagine what all that feels like? Even just a tiny bit. That is a symptom of bipolar as well as many other mental illnesses. Its official title is Racing thoughts. Sometimes if its not to bad it just causes you to jump from one topic to another while having a conversation. Or stray thoughts out of nowhere just jump into your head and your not quite sure which path it followed to get to you. But the bad times those are the ones I described first.

If you can't get a grip, ether on your own or help from friends, those racing thoughts can cause some really bad things to happen. Racing thoughts leads to carelessness also known as inability to make correct decisions. This is what leads to doing things without thought or care. Your trying to get rid of the buzzing and bubbling inside your head and its so overwhelming most of the time its all you can think about.

Racing thoughts can lead to suicide. You don't want to die you just want to make it stop or just so damn tired all you want to do is rest. You really don't comprehend that what your doing is not only wrong but is a permanent solution to breathing. There is just no connection between the act and thoughts of suicide and the end of your life. Your out of sync with the rest of the world and everything is fuzzy and nothing has any consequences.

Racing thoughts can lead to unpredictable and though not quiet as dangerous as suicide can in its own way kill you from the inside out. Things like promiscuous sex with whoever happens to catch your attention. Walking out of a store with unpaid merchandise just for the rush of seeing if you get caught. Or spending sprees that lead to not enough for food and medicine when the time comes. Yet your home is full of stuff that you thought you couldn't live without and you have barely even used it.

Racing thoughts can make you aggressive, very very aggressive. It can in some very extreme cases bring you to a state of rage that is actually murderous and I am talking real violence against another person not just ohh you stole my pencil i am angry with you. But a driving need to bring to another person all the pent up anger and pain that you go threw 24/7. A need to make someone else feel what you feel so that you don't feel alone.

It may not make sense to those of you who don't have a mental illness or an illness that doesn't include this particular symptom. But this is something that a number of the population of the world go threw almost everyday. Fighting and struggling to keep themselves within the "normal" range of thoughts. Every once in awhile think of this and say a prayer to whatever "Power that Be" that is in your life. And thank them every time that you have a healthy mind and say a small one for the rest of us that we can someday find what it is that will bring us a peace of mind. And if you have a friend or family member that suffers from a mental illness remember its the bond of friendship and family that has done the greatest good for those of us in this position.