Definitions of Co-Dependancy

Definitions of Co-Dependancy

a set of maladaptive, compulsive behaviors learned by family members to survive in a family experiancing a great emotional painand stress...Behaviors...passed on generation to generation whether alocoholism is present or not. **Johnson Institute of Minneapolis.

Those self-defeating learned behaviors or character defects that result in a diminished capacity to initiate, or participate, in a loving relationships. **Earnie Larsen

A person who has let someone else's behavior effect him or her, and is obssessed with controlling other people's behavior. **Melody Beattie

An emotional, psychological, and behavioral condition that develops as a result of an individual's prolonged exposure to, and practice of, a set of oppressive rules:
*Dont feel of talk about feelings
*Dont think
*Dont identify, talk about or solve problmes
*Dont be who you are, be good,right, strong, and perfect
*Dont be selfish, take care of others and neglect yourself
*Dont have fun, dont be silly or enjoy life.
*DOnt trust other people or yourself
*DOnt be vulnerable
*Dont be direct
*DOnt get close to people
*Dont grow,change or in any way rock the familys boat

And enforced with the following messages:
*I am not lovable
*I dont deserve good things
*I ll never succeed

**Robert Subby